One must still have Chaos in oneself to give birth to a dancing star –Friedrich Nietzsche

Anxiety and Anger

I have found a passion in boxing–how did it start?

When we think back in time

Growing up I have always had a problem with anger and anxiety

Perhaps it is because I want to be a stronger person–not just physically but also mentally. Our lives are always bound by constraints, no matter what state we are in and what age we are at–this makes our journey a universal one. It seems that last summer and last fall (aka 2023) have been particularly soul-piercing to me, so much so that I have to find a way to harden myself. To not go specific into details, but emotional turmoil and failure in academia have brought some frustration and self-loathe, so strong that I had to find an outlet.

I started by my old way of reading books, this time some over-the-counter self-help books–you know the types, those bestsellers that preach positivity and most recently stoicism–not that I don’t think stoicism is a worthwhile school of philosophy to dive into, but whenever something becomes overly popular in culture, one must keep a skeptical mind. And just like what Tyler Durden says, “self-improvement is masturbation, now self-destruction…” Well, they don’t work. From countless nights of insomnia and days of quiet desperation (Thoreau says), I can safely preach to you that “books don’t solve problems”. And instead of asking you to read a lengthy article on self-help, I simply lay out to you the better way:

Go find a taxing physical activity you enjoy doing, and do it without thought.

It turns out boxing is this taxing physical activity that I enjoy doing: I’ve heard that for some people living near the beach, it is surfing, but only a few are lucky enough to live near the beach. Now, the word taxing is essential here; this should be a physical activity that requires lots of effort, therefore essentially some kind of sports. Otherwise, one can lose interest too quickly (in the neurobiological term, a fast dopamine rush). Another aspect is that the physical activity / sports must have some element of growth built-in, for one must measure against oneself to have the fulfilling aspect.

Dare to Discipline

It started as an outlet to release the stress, the anxiety, and the anger, but has turned into a journey of its own kind. Boxing has not just trained me, but have made me a better person overall. In particular, I have acquired stronger self-discipline.

At 16 years of old, Miyamoto Musashi started his pilgrimage of warriors, wandering alone in feudal Japan and fighting duels, with the goal to improve his skills as a swordsman. As he grew older, he started to write about the philosophy of walking alone (termed Dokodo) and the mental aspect of swordsmanship. Solitude, discipline, and a minimalist lifestyle that focuses on self-reliance–these are the essential aspects of his teaching. Reading about this historical record in my room, sitting on a chair, even though the intellectual aspect can communicate, it stays an abstraction, and there’s a crucial part missing. People like Musashi and others in the ancient times don’t have this trouble, we on the other hand, living in the modernity filled with techs and convenience do, and the problem is the following:

We approach ideas and wills of any kind as an abstraction, as something remote; however, the most important will is the will to act.

That is, get out of the comfort of the room and get outside. I start to understand better and better what made Miyamoto Musashi the greatest swordsman in feudal Japan when I started to practice his teachings myself: be disciplined, even when you’re alone. This very first principle turns out to be the hardest. And to achieve this principle, you maybe surprised to find out that first and foremost, you need courage.

Discipline is not a mind trick: you cannot TELL yourself to be discipline and then become disciplined. It has to be something you DO. It starts with the courage to accept and then to enjoy doing difficult things that go against the easier route. By doing so you overcome yourself. One must know that there’s a best version of oneself, and like Adler says:

If you don’t strive to be the best version of yourself, you risk being a crappy version of someone else.

TO be the best version of oneself requires courage; it requires not just a strong mind but also a strong body. This is why boxing becomes such a great factor for me to be more disciplined:

  1. First you need to master your fear: this is clear from the fact that you need to deal with other people’s blows to the head and the body. In boxing, you never close your eyes and look other places but stare your opponents right in the eyes (or neck), and you don’t flinch when a punch comes close–this physical training builds up the foundation to face your own fears, like a warrior.
  2. Second, the taxing training, with intensive focus on calisthenics, burst power, and cardio, makes it necessary for you to eat healthier and pay more attention to your life choices regarding pleasure and indulgence. If you are lax, it’s gonna show in the ring, and you are going to get your ass kicked.
  3. Third, the boxing art is an art of solitude, just like the art of sword. Often times you are without a partner, and you need to master the art of shadow-boxing. You’re training yourself both in the body and the mind in this regard, playing chess with yourself and a shadow opponent. The mind must be engaged in this activity, alone.

For the pros, discipline is a must even though they have made millions. The cover image shows Marvin Hagler, the undisputed middle weight champion in the 80s, jogging alone in his residence at Cape Cod, MA, where the temperature is usually subzero. During his stay at the residence, usually during training camps, he was usually alone, going for a roadwork in the morning, training during the day, repeating days after days. This journey of a warrior is no different from that of Musashi, and Hagler remains a great inspiration for uprising young boxers to come.

Fear and Flow

As was mentioned, the fear factor from boxing is the fear to get punched and dropped. This is why in the early stages, one must train to not flinch when a punch comes but needs to learn how to slip or block with eyes wide open. However, as from our animal instinct, we naturally get tense when an attack comes. However, to be a truly great boxer, one must master the art of flowing:

To float like a butterfly, sting like a bee –Muhammad Ali

If you get tense, in the shoulder specifically, one gasses out. If you float, you can move better, be more flexible, and even could result in better reflexes. Ali was a master of this craft, as was shown in his head movements, and the same can be said about Canelo Alvarez and Floyd Mayweather. Therefore, the second aspect that boxing teaches and elevates us is the art of flowing–and to analyze about this aspect more deeply, it is still about forgoing your fundamental fears.

The tension of body aligns with the natural instinct of fear; being relaxed is not really a state of nature, especially if you are in a combat sport. It is more natural to be relaxed in the bed or in the bath tub, as it is prevalent in the modern comfort setting, so how exactly do these elite boxers and martial artists train themselves to be relaxed, even during those intense professional bouts, and especially those heavyweight fights, where one can easily get knocked out?

My coach says that boxing is about 80% mental and 20% physical, and he’s right–this flow state requires confidence: a lack of fear is not sufficient as you must also have confidence in your skills. How can one have confidence in one’s skills? The answer is simple: work your ass off to improve them. Therefore, get that training, overcome the fear, and be confident. It is all simple said than done, and cultivating the flow aspect of boxing can require years of hard-work.

Now, transitioning back into our normal day-to-day work: we also enjoy going into a state of flow–now we can make an analogy.

  • First, what are the fear factors? I think the biggest one is that fear to be judged by others. Overcoming this fear and focusing on improving one’s craft is therefore the key to go. A lot of times, the fear of being judged by others is completely self-imposed; keep in mind: everyone has their own life to go through, so 90 times out of 100, people don’t give a F about what you do, so you might as well do it your way, with the sole focus of not disappointing yourself. This is the key to be the best version of yourself.

Don’t let yourself down! Rather than ‘don’t let others down’.

  • Second, where does the confidence come from? If you are a researcher, an engineer, you know that the flow state usually comes with those deep work sessions: distraction free, working on the craft you enjoy doing and are good at. Therefore, first you need to find those crafts you (a) enjoy doing and (b) are good at. The idea is therefore to stick with it so that you feel the rush of confidence (like your face glows somehow). Notice however that confidence $\neq$ contentment. To have that confidence flowing out like river, you must always challenge yourself to elevate your skills.

Dancing and Boxing

Great boxers like Ali and Mayweather dances in the ring, and just like dancing, boxers need a rhythm to fight; this is manifested in the footwork and in how the crucial aspect of counter punching is to break the opponent’s rhythm. SO now we go back to the earlier quote of Friedrich Nietzsche:

One must still have chaos in oneself to give birth to a dancing star.

We must know that a truly free flow state requires an element of chaos. Relating to boxing, this is why at the highest level, we can always expect some elements of surprise, of the underdogs beating the champ. Bruce Lee’s quote about “be like water” may not just refer to the laminar flows but could be the turbulent ones as well (where my fluid mechanics brothers at).

Transitioning back to day-to-day life, I say that we must embrace uncertainty and voluntarily inject an element of chaos, and treat everyday life as dancing. You don’t want to be rigid, but would like to try something new each, challenge oneself in different ways, and to explore different opportunities. One of my inspirations, Nassim Nicholas Taleb, comments on that if one lives their lives the same every day, without exploring those elements of uncertainty, this would mean they are fragile (rather than anti-fragile. Sorry Nassim, cannot memorize the exact quote) and devoid from the opportunity to benefit from the positive black swans, which are unlikely, but possible positive events that can greatly change a person’s life.

In the end, I wonder why Nietzsche loves dancers so much. He might as well enjoy boxing, if that was a thing during his time (I know Hemingway does), for they at the highest level shows a similar display of art, albeit one is more brutal than the other. As someone who highly values creativity and sincerity, Nietzsche would recognize the virtue in both, and claim them as an elevated way of being.